Dear All,

I’m sitting in the Gardens at New College right now. I just got out of the breakfast in Hall that always follows Chapel on a Sunday morning. The air, cool and moist, brings with it Autumn and the changing of the leaves. This is how I am starting my doctorate.

The term officially starts today, and already I know that I am doing too much. There are funding concerns, a number of jobs I am holding down, my commitments to the Strategic Studies Group, and, of course, my research. It’s all a bit too much at the moment, and yesterday my body told me it was time to take a moment for myself. So I put on my cleats (or boots, as they’re called here) and ventured forth onto the soccer (football) field (pitch). My asthma is much worse these days because I’m not training regularly, so I wasn’t able to do too much exertion, but it felt good to kick the ball around. My housemate Michael joined me and as he took shots on me, I acquired all of the scrapes and grass marks that are the reasons I love this game.

Last night was the first bop of term. New College has once more lived up to its high standards of gyration incitement; the ancient stone walls were sweating as the bodies, beautiful, danced the night away.

And today, there was Chapel. Many of you know that I am continually testing and questioning my faith. I have found, however, that in this past year, I have done much less of it, not out of satisfaction with my position, but rather out of complacency. My first year here I had little to lean on apart from the institutions. Last year, I developed strong friendships that provided a source of strength. This year, however, I realise that my life here is created by me, and I can choose the emphasis it takes.

A doctorate from Oxford includes the pleasure of complete freedom to research. My only commitment to the University is to hand in my thesis in three year’s time. The ordering of my day is therefore up to me. This, I think, is fantastic. Each year, I am learning something about structuring the hours that I am given in a day. Last year, the epiphany came when I understood how to put my studies first. This year, I hope to sort out the rest of the lot. This weekend has taught me something very valuable in that regard. Exercise and spiritually, as I have often heard my mother say, are crucial parts of a balanced life.

I look back on my undergraduate days at St. Olaf. I can’t say that studies always, or even most of the time, came first, but I did feel a balance there that has been noticeably lacking since I crossed the pond. St. Olaf trains the whole person, and Oxford trains the mind. It is up to me, therefore, to fill out those other parts of my being that I know need attention, particularly through exploring my faith and exercising my body.

It seems funny that early last week I gave a talk to all of the new MSc students who are starting on the course I did last year. Mine was the practical talk, laying out in plain words (and without any faculty present) what they needed to do to survive the year. Studying was important, I made sure that was clear. Late nights will be had in the library. But there is much more to life here (anywhere!) than that thing you call a job. You can spend it in front of the TV, surfing the net, or putzing around, or you could carve it up, feed your soul and your body as well as your mind. I might do well to heed my own advice.

~Sam

P.S. At the moment, you may notice that my old website is down and my new website (www.ponderingmind.org) is not fully up and running yet. I’ll let you know when it is, and then all of these emails will appear in journal form there.